Choices && Love

I can begin this blog, by saying that I have come a long way, since my first entry. It's important to look back sometimes. Life has taken so many different paths, all of them were in ways, I tried to plan for, but took a customized route each time. Which taught me some important lessons along the way.

This reflection are for those that may be lost, those that may think they love with their fullest potential, and most importantly those that have done things to jeopardize the ones they love for selfish reasons. This can go for those that have loved with all their heart, just to reemphasize the fact that you are doing a great job, and to keep it up.

We all have choices we make everyday... Some of us take these choices and make the common call on most, or the choice that we are just accustomed to. We sometimes forget the choices we have at hand, forgetting the power and consequences of the ones we face every moment of our lives. I have been blessed to have many great people in my life, some that loved me with their all, some not so much. But the older I get, the wiser I become, the more I can sit here and think of all the things that could have been better, If I would have made better choices. By choices Im not talking just aesthetics, but also the things we dont see, feel, smell, or taste, the choices that we take for granted and sometimes forget to pay attention to, or even acknowledge. 

The hot topic of LOVE. Everyone talks about it, everyone wants it, everyone feels it regardless of what you may think or say, it is a part of life, we all desire to fulfill before we die. 

The main questions being: 

• Are you doing the right things to attain the love you want?
• Do you have the love for yourself, that you are willing to share with someone else?
• Have you ever thought of how it is to be hurt, or loved, before trying to attain love from someone?
• Do you know love?
• If you know love, do you know what it takes to keep that love alive, for both sides?
• Have you found happiness and if so, are you willing to share that happiness with someone else?

All these questions are things we should ask ourselves daily. Matter fact, I can almost guarantee that these thoughts run through most heads daily, and probably most of you, but in different forms.

Such as.

• Am I doing what makes me happy?
• Is what I'm doing making the person that I love happy?
• Does this other person love me, as much as I love them?
• Do they know love?
• I wonder if they know how hurtful it is when they do this and that?
• I wonder if this will last?
• What can I do to be sure this lasts?

So maybe you caught the irony in what I'm stating above....

In all, to explain this in deeper context for you..

Life seems to trick us into thinking we actually do know everything about our feelings.  People think love is love, and hate is hate. But sometimes life tricks you, leaving you more clueless than before you even knew love, or even knew hate.  You think you have been hurt, when you really havent, you think you have loved when you really havent. 

In truth, the choices we are faced with daily, are based on what we think we know, but at the end of the day that is life, it is only what we can do. So inevitably we chase the love, that we think is love, and we tend to run from the hate, that we think is hate.

It is important that when you have the choice in front of you to share something with someone, that is special to you, to take full advantage of it. As the choices we make inevitably shape our future. Even though at the moment it may not seem like it, there really is truth in self karma. You must have the state of mind of doing good, if you want good in your future, doing bad, if you want bad in your future..

Yes, there is always time to change, but I'll save that for another time to discuss.

I want you to take a few things out of this, if anything.

First of all, if you have love in your life, that makes you happy, do not cheat the love, by doing selfish things, because love doesn't lie, but love doesn't have to last forever for you either.

Second--apologies go but so far for yourself, at some point you will realize that mistakes are common, yes, but repeating the same things will set you back even further from the love you are pursuing in your life.

Third--  Do not think for one second that life stops for you, if you think someone will stop pursuing their happiness for you, think again. You must adjust, you must have space in your heart to allow movement of love, to allow somethings not to go your way, but loves way. 

Fourth-- Love with your all, show your heart that you can defeat any feelings of uncertainty, give the opportunity to every moment of love, to shine, and be great. Do not pass up on love, as love is not guaranteed for you or anyone.

Fifth--Your past does not define you today, stop thinking of what you have done, if you have the power to change you will change.

Most importantly do not blame anyone else but yourself for the situations and choices you are in, or make...

Remember some of these things.

and I will promise you:

• A bright future.
• Love of the greatest kind (With Patience)
• Finding yourself.
• Happiness (In which you control)
• No Guilt.
• No blaming others for your problems.

As I wrap this up, dont make excuses for what you have not become, but make sure to understand the reasons of what you have become, who you are, and what you know makes you happy..

With that being said,

I must say it feels great to be in love.. True love at last.

Truthfully..

Mike

Nov. 12'

The Balance of Selfishness

It's been a while since I've had the time to write down some thoughts... Life has been rather crazy the past few months... I have been through so much... Good && Bad.. I must not complain.. Life has been good to me.. With that being said, I hope the readers of my blog, are doing well. As I wish you well through these days.

This entry will take a direction one may not think about often. I had a few thoughts as of late,  that made me take some steps back, for the good though, as taking a few steps back to realize whats in front of you, can help you if you use those steps to move forward with happiness...

It's strange to think that we are at fault for something...

Usually as humans, we are trained to know about mistakes, but naturally it is easier for us to point the finger at someone else, to take the stress off of our day(s).  But while doing this, we tend to forget how to fix the problem.

I have been faced with looking deep into my life to figure out what has caused me to do this as of late.  For years, I have struggled with the fact of "being alone" for many reasons. Growing up the only child has molded this feeling for years. Friends and family have come and gone like leaves off of a tree. Im a dreamer and have always wanted a great family atmosphere, but I have never had such thing. My mother and her side of the family, is so dysfunctional that I havent heard a word from them in over 15 years. It goes to say that, my father has raised me yes, but his side of the family, as never embraced me as a part of the family for many reasons, which I know of, but still makes no sense.  Over time, I have put myself in situations with my spouses in which I concentrate so much into time with them, that I forget about what they truly need and want. This has been a problem for many years.  I have drove people away from me emotionally because of it. Most importantly this wasn't intentional at all, I couldn't even tell I was doing it.

It's like a habit, I tend to do this when they or I, least expect it.  I try not to drive people away with it. But I have realized over time that the "Balance of Selfishness" is one of the most important things to learn in one's life. I have found over the years, that my situation is different from each and everyone of those people that have ever come into my life.  All people have a different sense of time, and what they want to do with it.

Understanding this simple part of life, has been a struggle for me. As we all set expectations up for people over time, and we expect something back for what we give them, but we can easily forget that those expectations may be built too much on the side of what you want, instead of what they really desire. That is where the problem can occur.

It is important too balance Selfishness, because at the end of the day, if we are not a little selfish we would never grab what we desire, we wouldn't even know how to get there.  Simply take a step back and realize what you need, what the person you love, needs, combine that with what you both desire, and make a place in the middle for the both of you. Friends, Family, Spouse, all included. People, setting expectations for people, so high, and not allowing them to attain it, because of what you desire, is not the right way of setting expectations for anyone, nevertheless yourself.

I have learned that allowing time too come, is so much better than chasing time.

Time will always be available for you and the people you love.

It is important for me to realize that no matter the situations I have been part of, if someone loves me, and wants to be with me, they will do just that. I try to crunch so much of my time into people because of what I have been through, and what I never had, and that isn't the right way of doing things.

But I have figured so much out.  For this I'm grateful  to understand that my time is only as good, as I make it for myself. Most of all, that the Balance of Selfishness, needs to be adressed at all times.

For the people, in my life.... Thank You.. For always being so understanding... I hope and wish that you know I love you with my ALL...

Truthfully,

Mike

Nov. 12'