Closing the door, has never been something I have been good at doing, it is something I don't look forward to doing, and simply a tough decision to make. This time it's different, not saying it's easy, but it is something I see clearly, it is clear cut, it is in something I have no choice in any longer, and it must be DONE. Through the years this has been an option that I never looked much into, I always left it on the back burner, as I believed you would understand the reality of what you were doing, and I thought for years you would make changes. It is not totally your fault, as you are confused and lost as you claim, but in all, you are to blame for the destruction of this brotherhood, not once, not twice, not three times, to be completely honest I have lost count.
As a brother, I always held tight to the ever lasting memories and moments we shared through the years of adolescence all the way up to now, and the longer I held on to those memories, the harder it was for me to not pay attention to the destruction it was actually causing me. Thankfully, I have grown into a fine young man, one that cherishes such things as FRIENDSHIP, LOYALTY, FAMILY, TRUST, AND BROTHERHOOD. At a young age, I figured out that with out a clear understanding of myself, and my own beliefs along side with respect for others around me; I would never be able to say these words without truly being a hypocrite, but that I am not, and for that YOU ARE.
With that being said, this is where I am, this is the situation at hand, and finally it is something that is more important to do, than ever before...
I must say, that this is probably one of the hardest things that I have ever done, exposing the true you, exposing you in a way that no one ever has, and to be completely honest you will never hear this amount of truth from anyone else in you life. This is not simple to understand from either side, but the longer I continue to let you walk in and out of my life, thinking that you are the only one that matters, is something that must STOP. As my life is too pure for such nonsense, and my time is too precious to be wasting on someone that doest see his own life fading away from them. THIS MADNESS MUST END....
Let me reiterate, that I do understand the tough situations we have been part of, and mostly you have had it harder in many aspects of life than I have. But nevertheless this and any thing else that will be thrown in my face about my decision, are excuses and nonsense that does not take away from the fact, that you continue to run away from the people that love you the most.... Your entire life is surrounded my misleading excuses, that tend to take you away from the light, and make you misunderstand what truly matters to you.. As a true friend that I have been since the first day we met, I have been through these excuses, and misleading roads you chose to take, and held your hand like a brother should do, and watched listened and learned through the way... Something you have lacked during the duration of our friendship, and in all, this is what has killed the friendship we had strived to keep for a lifetime, and for that, this is one of the saddest moments of my life, but also one of the happiest.
I can honestly say, that every day, for the past 10 years, I have never gone to sleep without thinking about you, with out one single concern, or a thought of happiness and sadness. This is something that made me open up my eyes at the age of 11 and say to my self "thats someone that is truly important to me", "my best friend" "my brother".... Little did I know, I would see that person fade before my eyes, time and time again.
YOU SEE, a person can only give but so much, yes I understand Im far from perfect, but I have never turned my back, or walked away from anyone that mattered this much to me. As for problems, and wrong doings, yes I can say I have my fair share, but I have never left any of those doors open, and I have never reopened them, as I have learned from those mistakes, and become a better man to all. For you on the other hand, it has been a continuous cycle of the things I never wanted from anyone in my life, and a cycle of treating me like as if I was nothing to you. Walking beside me one day, gone the next, the cycle of continuous failure of what a true friend is, and most importantly, a life of follower and not a leader.
For this I must end by saying a few things that I have left on my mind....
Don't ever forget what we been though, but forget the things you took advantage of in me.
Dont ever think I did this for me, I did it for us, as you asked for it multiple times.
When you think of our past, think of what our brotherhood meant to you, and ask yourself, what it could have been?
I want you to be you, I want you to continue doing what you are doing, despite what I or others say..
Be a leader, Do not follow up these people in your life, that are trying to destruct your beautiful life.
Be a great father, as I know you can be even better.
Never forget where you came from, But always leave your life open to new things.
Never settle for less, alway strive for love and success.
Finally, I love you bro, but this is just something that must be done.. I hope you take this to the heart, and realize what I said is for both of us, for us to find what we are really looking for, as I feel this is something I cannot pursue any longer.. But i must remind you, as the door closes, new ones will open for the both of us, and I wish you the up-most success in what you do, and if you ever get in a situation you can't get out of, remember what we have learned together, and most importantly what your faith has taught you...
Love you bro...
MAK Nov'10
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