As we all know the Holidays are upon us. The coldest days of the year, are suppose to bring the warmth of family bonds and friends. The scent of burning wood, and pine, in the living room, where everyone talks and shares recent or past memories is the classic view of the holidays in most of our lives. This is the time of year, in which we all seem to wait for, to get new things, and to buy things for others. The smiles of fellow friends and children, either healthy or unhealthy, bad or good, it seems as the holidays brings the best out in everybody.... Or does it?
Sitting here in my living room, staring at this tree we have up, has me thinking about this so called "holiday spirit". Most people don't even know why the hell we put a tree in the living room, or why christmas is celebrated on the 25th??? I may be wrong, but it has never been a topic of discussion at any X-mas events I have attended through the years. Im going to let you do the research on some of the meanings behind this holiday. But for the moment I want to talk on some thoughts I am having during this holiday season....
It may not be relevant to many, but it is relevant to enough to at least mention such thoughts. I think through the years (21 to be exact), I have developed a sense of disappointment for this holiday. To be honest I can't pinpoint the main reason why, but I do have some ideas why it could have happen.
First off, I have never had the true structure a family should have during the holidays, as divorce destroyed any dream of that happening, since 1993 I have never had both parents together for any x-mas celebration. Since 1997 I have not spent the holidays with my mother, or her side of the family, as true catholics, that is very odd to me to grasp. But I do not put all the strain of this issue on religion, as her struggle to care for me has ever continued through the years and has actually been non-exsistent for almost 15 years, which to me is an eternity. During 2001 me and my father decided to move back up to South Carolina from Miami, and have made somewhat of an attempt to celebrate christmas in our own fashion, and also attempted to share such with our family up here... But because of slight differences they have with us and our lifestyles, we seem to have lost touch of this celebration. I have to say that even though the numbers are not high during the holidays for me and my father, we seem to grasp onto the people that care the most, and spend the time with them here at the house, we will put a tree, and have presents and celebrate our love for one another. This is the highlight of what happens with a single father and his son, during the cold holidays.
Secondly, I must reiterate the fact that I have never struggled or been with out anything, I have always been a fortunate one, with physical things, and also emotional love from my father. But as stated before the emotional side from my mother and the whole other side of the family has always been missing. That can take a toll on you during the holidays, making me always ask the question (I wonder if they think of me, as much as I think of them?) It is even harder for this question to come up every holiday season, when your own mother is involved. Just food for thought....
Third issue, It hurts me to see other families that have a core and a great connection between each other, for example 2 parents, and more siblings, (which i never had) negate the holidays, and ignore each other, most importantly caring more about material things than the bond they share. I guess I see the damage they are causing more than they do, because they cannot see first hand the impact this bond has on their lives, both for the present and the future. As most things are not appreciated in this society any longer, until they are gone. IT is just sad that the holidays are one of those diminishing thoughts of happiness and family love and bonding, than ever before.
Fourth, I blame our generation, as we have sadly grown up to trust machines, instead of other humans. I run into this issue daily, as I can catch my self spending more time on my cell phone, the computer, than the actual people around me, and I damn sure know I am not the only one suffering this addiction. It is something we have grown up to understand as healthy and socially acceptable, but the moment you step back and realize the time you are wasting, it is unbelievable what you can realize you are actually doing to the people you love. But this is something that is inevitable as we are relying more on different communications and as our world becomes ever so smaller, so do our attention spans, and our hearts, which simply make the holidays less important in the mind of many!
Last but not least, I despise the fact that so many families if they do share the holiday bond, only share that bond on christmas, or when someone dies.... I know many can relate to this reason of my disappointment, as many families only see each other every 37 years at a random ass family reunion, when someone dies, or when money is needed... But rarely do you get the call wondering how things are going, or to see if everything is alright?.. Weird but true, is this what family is all about..? I don't think so, so I as I sit back and think, I am happiest with just that one family member that cares and shows it everyday, instead of worrying about people that don't take the time to concern themselves about anyone but their households.
Anyways, now that I am done, I want my readers to sit back and think, what can I do different to allow myself, and my family to bond better, to show the true meaning of christmas, to allow us to be a family a pure family, one that stays in touch, one that never forgets the true meaning of LOVE... As I must remind each and everyone of you, this is not something everyone has the opportunity to take advantage of.
MAK 10'
MAK
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